Bar Mitzvah Basics
The day a son becomes a bar mitzvah (for a boy) is an important milestone for Jewish parents as well as the coming of age male. In recent years, it has become the reason for a large scale celebration with family and friends of all ages within the community.
If you will soon be one of those proud parents, here are the steps and details you'll want to consider in planning a bar mitzvah party for your child. As with any party, always keep in mind the personality of your child and the degree to which he is comfortable with attention within reason. This party can certainly be a coming out of sorts and many children has a tendency to blossom into the person they are going to be for the rest of their lives during this transitional period.
Choose Your Date
The first thing you'll need to know before you plan your party is the date your child will celebrate his bar mitzvah in the synagogue. The date may be assigned up to three years in advance, depending on the size of the congregation. Usually, it's close to your child's actual 13th birthday.
Book Your Party Venue
Before you choose a location for your party, you'll need to decide whether you want your party to be held in the afternoon or evening. If evening, keep in mind those dates will book up first. Some of the other details you should consider before you speak to your caterer include:
Will your party be held at the synagogue or another location?
Will you hold a party only for the kids, or will it be mixed ages?
Will the food be kosher or non-kosher?
Is it worth paying more for a nice setting and possibly save on decorating expenses?
Do you want to have a cocktail hour first? If so, would you like it in a facility that can offer separate rooms for the cocktails and hors d'oeuvres and the main meal?
Plan Your Food and Beverages
If you plan to host a cocktail party before the main meal, here are some typical options you can discuss with your caterer:
A fruit and cheese board.
A carving station with corned beef, roast beef, and roast turkey.
Passed hors d'oeuvres.
A cold fish buffet including smoked salmon, whitefish, etc.
Hors d'oeuvres specifically targeted to the kids such as pizza slices or chicken fingers.
Will you have a separate menu for the kids at your party? One way to save on your party expense is to choose one or two less expensive, kid-friendly options for all the kids at your party.
For both the cocktail party and main reception you'll need to decide whether to offer a full or partial open bar (wine and beer) versus an all-cash bar for alcoholic beverages. Some parents offer a full open bar during the cocktail party, which then turns into a cash bar during the reception.
Sometimes a special menu is offered at the bar for the kids, with drinks like Shirley Temples or smoothies.
Choose Your Theme
It isn't necessary to have a theme at one of these parties, but it makes all the rest of the planning much easier. The theme is often selected to reflect the child's special interests. Here are theme possibilities to get you started:
Sports
All about me (meaning the bar or bat mitzvah child)
Tropical/luau
Hollywood
Movies
Theater
Dance
Favorite books
A favorite charity of the child or family
The theme can then be tied into the decorations, invitations, centerpieces, cake, and party favors.